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John and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
>
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John
suddenly
jumped into the deep end.  He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed
there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
John out. 
 
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be
mentally stable. 

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news
and bad
news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of
another
patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. 

"The bad news is, John, the patient you saved, hung himself right after
you
saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but
he's dead.

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go
home?

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Please be aware there are a number of scams on the Internet. We do not
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in
Africa and takes her faithful pet dachshund along for
company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing
butterflies and, before long, discovers that he is
lost.

Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly
in his direction with the obvious intention of having
lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble
now!" Then he notices some bones on the ground nearby,
and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with
his back to the approaching cat. 

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund
exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard.
I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing
this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride and a
look of terror comes over him. The leopard slinks away
into the trees and says to himself, "Whew! That was
close. That dachshund nearly had me." 

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole
scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it for protection, so
he takes off after the leopard. But the dachshund sees
him heading after the cat and figures something must
be up.


The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal with the leopard. The
leopard is furious at being made a fool of, and says,
"Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to
happen to that conniving canine." 

The dachshund sees the leopard coming toward him, with
the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going
to do now?" Instead of running, the dog sits down with
his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, 
"Where's that flipping monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
me another leopard

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